I am depressed & disappointed.

I know today would pass. I know that this week would pass. I know that this month would pass. But somehow sitting here feeling that I have been pummeled by hundreds of bricks made times seem to stop and the light at the end of the tunnel just happen to be somebody's flashlight that runs out of battery. And my path again succumbed in total darkness.

And I sit here for a while, wallowing, refusing to pick up calls & refusing to make calls. A little sad, a little depressed. Okay, maybe not so little.

I've made some promises to people that I'm pretty sure that I could keep. But ended unable to fulfill those promises. And that sucks, man. Really sucks. Especially when those people happen to be my trusted friends & people who gave me some breaks when I needed them.

And what really sucks is that I couldn't pick up the phone and call them I needed more time coz things didn't worked out. But how long am I going to supply people with those bloody excuses.

I hate it. I hate it.

If I didn't have all these promises that I have to fulfill I'll probably pack my bags & disappear.

Then what? Live my life as a coward or worst, die as a coward.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking. How am I going to get out from this mess?