I was standing

I was standing,
Just standing,
Standing at the balcony,
Thinking,
About jumping.

But it wouldn’t be a good affair,
Coz down is a long way,

What crosses my mind.

Apa yang terlintas di fikiran // What crosses my mind
Apabila kau disisi // When you’re by my side
Sentuhan lembut // Your soft touch
Yang terlarang // Forbidden.

I walk

I walk, I dance,
Help me, lend me a hand.

Hand. Hands.
Surrounding me, Supporting me,
Caressing.Suffocating.Killing.Pushing & Pulling.

Pulling. Pulling me from the depth of darkness.
Emerging from the Mothers womb.
Into the glaring bright lights.

Lights. Unfamiliar.
I closed my eyes & hide my shame.
As ecstasy plough my very being.
I dare not to smile.

Smile. I would have.
If the sun had shine brighter & the moon less melancholy.
And if there are love.

Love. Yes, I'm crazy in love with you.
Don't blame me for my heart condition.
Don't hate me for my mind condition.

Condition. Conditions.
Terms of Conditions.
I hate it.
When life is about the terms we have and conditions are just stupid excuses.

Excuses. I don't need it.
Get off my floor.
Create your own & walk.

Walk. I walk.

I walk, I dance.
Help me, lend me a hand.

Was You.

I want to cry I want to wallow in my sorrow
I’m disappointed I really want to kill myself
I’m suicidal

Will you blame me for feeling this way?

Total defeat in my emotions
Where I feel I could not get up
Where I feel I should sit here
Watching the world go by
Watching & watching till I die

Will you forgive me for feeling this way?

I feel I’m fucked up.
In this moment I called life

Please, don’t tell me to get up
For this moment I just want to rest
Buried my eyes in my pillow
Wishing I just die

That train moving like a speeding bullet
Will be going for the cliff
Cliff called death

And I’m inside
And I don’t want get off
This is my train

I don’t want to get off
I don’t want to get off

Let me join the light
Where I disappear into thin air

Will you remember me?
Will you stop being angry at me?
For forgetting my reason to continue living
Was you.

Empty mind

My mind is empty,
Yet not gone,
Just setting in a peaceful slumber,
Yet not sleeping,

My mind is empty,
Yet not closed,
I'm in a myriads of thoughts,
Yet not thinking,

My mind is empty,
Yet not dying,
Feeling my soul sighing in silence,
Yet not grieving

I am here with my empty minds and my hearts filled with emotions,
Yet not feverish passion but just cruising a lonely vast lake,

Here alone, watching the mountains far away,
Loving the emptiness of my mind.

My mind is empty.

The Perfect Book - A poem

"I have an idea my friend,
To write a perfect book,
That will list all the reasons & excuses,
And the choices that we took.

And I will convince you my friend,
That my words are very true,
We can't change the way we are,
We can't change the things we do.

You will never be rich you see,
You're just not born to be,
Your mama is plain, your daddy is poor,
And that's how you're gonna be.

You're not significant, I can tell,
You are fat & just too ugly,
Or you're pretty but you're dumb,
Or you're smart but too geeky.

You'll suffer of your addictions,
And you know thats just okay,
Sex, smoking, booze, drugs and all,
Everybody die someday.

Don't look at me that way, my friend,
You know I care for you,
So if you commit suicide today,
Tomorrow, I'll cry boo hoo hoo.

You don't have a choice,you know,
Don't fight for your personal rights,
Gives yourself reasons and excuses,
Hide your dreams, out of sight.

Your family
Is in the way
Your friend
Is in the way
Your intellect
Is in the way
Your bank account
Is in the way
Your weakness
Is in the way

And so the list goes on...

I guess you got valid reasons,my friend,
So just suffer for one more day,
Never mind about tomorrow,
Its going to be terrible, by the way.

So gives me your reasons & excuses,
So I can write the perfect bestseller,
Every man and woman will buy it,
The most sold out book ever.

And as I solemnly watched with tears,
As your dreams withered and dies,
I collect all my royalties,
And go sunbathing in Hawaii."



Inspired in a moment of reflection while reading a book in McDonald.