Strange dreams again-Living with E.T

I've a lot of experiences of having lucid dreams that are very detailed and that I could remember well again. I read about this & it usually apply to people who thinks a lot and have a creative mind. Another explanations I heard was a person who are being bogged or bugged by this sort of dreams have things they didn't finish or a procrastinator.

Which all of the above happily; as being creative and sadly; as being a procrastinator, applies to me.

My dreams sometime and in this case too can be made into a movie. It can span a lifetime. And its actually a day to day life story. What makes it more strange it actually a continuation of previous dreams sometime just right afterward and sometime a few months back. Just came back to same location doing other things.


This time my family and I were somehow contacted by aliens and we started to live with them. Except for my younger brother who apparently had to work. Time line is 2010 as my younger brother complained to me that he'll be 30 in the next few months.

As for aliens, they are not aliens per se, they are more like highly upgraded human being. I mean they looked & act like human being but just like human being in the next few hundreds years. Remember Star Trek or any other futuristic anime or TV series.

I did went to their home planet which they lived with other aliens, which doesn't looked like human at all. But they don't scare me. I've felt somehow familiar with them even visited one of the underground pubs that have all the creatures. There I'm involved in a construction work that nearly went awry but it turns out ok.

I remembered a few times me and my older brother would fly off to see my younger brother & my older would be flying around over our housing estate and I scold him a few times. Especially when he turn off the invisibility mode and other people could clearly see our 'flying object'. This scene felt familiar liked I've dreamt it a few time.

My younger brother would usually hang out with his friends and I would talked to him, telling how are our parents keeping in space. I felt a certain longing because he was living alone & I felt he should follow us. That was when he mentioned he will be 30 soon. Its as if he was telling me he is nearing 30 and have not accomplished anything in his life. And he was trying to have a proper stable job.

Another scene my whole family was back and we are boarding the small shuttle to go back to space. There a cute little girl with us & I'm not sure whether she is my daughter or my niece. But we did bring another person which I'm not sure was my younger brother. Our old neighbors were back and we scared them a bit when my brother, the annoying pilot, didn't use the invisibility mode again.

My last scene were trying to assimilate the new person that I've brought. Again I'm not sure he was my brother or one of my brother friends. I brought him to some sort of spa and here where my dream were really detailed. Its because I was explaining it to him. The hot & cold water function. Toothbrush, shaver. There was a pantry & he was looking for rice to eat and I myself didn't know what to do. An attendant came in and mixed a powderlike substance with hot water, shake it and it becomes like porridge or something. And she says something like ' rice with coffee'. (What the heck?) And there was a massage bed that 'he' could not use. I showed him and he was more relaxed and fall asleep. I massage his shoulder as he slept.

I felt for him at this time. Worried but hopeful. That's how I know he was either my brother or one of his friend that I've considered a brother.

My dream end here.

I think my dream are influence by my previous dream, my current state of mind, a little scene from Hellboy at the Troll market and my last night deep experience after watching Donnie Darko. And I'm still having my cold too.

Down but upbeat.

The days of my depressing blog below had passed. I'm grateful for many reason. I'm not out of the rut or the rat race yet but I'm moving on. So any changes made me pretty upbeat.

My blog was corrupted a few days ago and just manage to find the solution today. I'm down with a flu & feeling rather sleepy right now. But something I've been working on has hit the road & moving. So I'm excited of what's coming. There's a few things that comes to me together with the sense of clarifications.

The roads seem less winding now.

I've updated this blog after my HTML was corrupted. So check out some new things on the right. I put up a playlist playing some of my personal acoustic taste. And I found that this blog is better viewed using Firefox.

And I'm feeling a little bit artsy so thus the changes to my blogs. Header pics by Eri Komura. I intend to change the art & outlook of this blog every month, so get ready of constant play of colours.

Thanks to all who somehow manage to find this blog. I'll be updating more & try to make the content more useful yet still personal.

Still me with lotsa love,
Jacque

I am depressed & disappointed.

I know today would pass. I know that this week would pass. I know that this month would pass. But somehow sitting here feeling that I have been pummeled by hundreds of bricks made times seem to stop and the light at the end of the tunnel just happen to be somebody's flashlight that runs out of battery. And my path again succumbed in total darkness.

And I sit here for a while, wallowing, refusing to pick up calls & refusing to make calls. A little sad, a little depressed. Okay, maybe not so little.

I've made some promises to people that I'm pretty sure that I could keep. But ended unable to fulfill those promises. And that sucks, man. Really sucks. Especially when those people happen to be my trusted friends & people who gave me some breaks when I needed them.

And what really sucks is that I couldn't pick up the phone and call them I needed more time coz things didn't worked out. But how long am I going to supply people with those bloody excuses.

I hate it. I hate it.

If I didn't have all these promises that I have to fulfill I'll probably pack my bags & disappear.

Then what? Live my life as a coward or worst, die as a coward.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking. How am I going to get out from this mess?

Anwar Ibrahim; history repeated.

Just when the Malaysian public are being fired up about rising oil prices, Datin Rosmah allegedly involvement in Altantuya murder and somewhere in the world a car was designed to run on water....a young handsome man by the name of Saiful Bahari made a police report that he was sodomized by the former Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia, Anwar Ibrahim.

When this scandal of all scandal came up, I wanted to put my two cents on it based on what I know of what had happened in 1997. But I paused my fingers on the keyboard as I reflect deeper into my thoughts.

During those time internet was not as handy as it is now. My info back then were based on the mainstream media, contradictory discussion from those who are into politics & the West Malaysian MARA students who were big supporters of Anwar.

So I thought I should go back in time to look into the trial. Found this set of video by Foreign Correspondent that shed a different light into the matter.



I don't like Anwar. I still don't. As far as the stories of his bisexuality goes it had been circulating years before 1997. Whereby it was known that the Tan Sri always request a special service after having his hair cut done.

Then again it was still unproven khabar khabar angin (words in the wind?)

Then again a person private life shouldn't be the thing to judge a leader of a country. Shouldn't it?

Churchill was known to be a crook and Hitler was known to be a clean cut man.

Still I do think, unless somebody can convince me otherwise, that Anwar is a strategist, an opportunist and a selfish politician.

Kinda remind me of an old guy who approved the Petronas Twin Tower.

**************************************

And somewhere in the world a Japanese guy in dark clean suit, sitting on a rather sturdy white wooden chair, waiting patiently for approval on a patent of his car engine that runs on water.

I walk

I walk, I dance,
Help me, lend me a hand.

Hand. Hands.
Surrounding me, Supporting me,
Caressing.Suffocating.Killing.Pushing & Pulling.

Pulling. Pulling me from the depth of darkness.
Emerging from the Mothers womb.
Into the glaring bright lights.

Lights. Unfamiliar.
I closed my eyes & hide my shame.
As ecstasy plough my very being.
I dare not to smile.

Smile. I would have.
If the sun had shine brighter & the moon less melancholy.
And if there are love.

Love. Yes, I'm crazy in love with you.
Don't blame me for my heart condition.
Don't hate me for my mind condition.

Condition. Conditions.
Terms of Conditions.
I hate it.
When life is about the terms we have and conditions are just stupid excuses.

Excuses. I don't need it.
Get off my floor.
Create your own & walk.

Walk. I walk.

I walk, I dance.
Help me, lend me a hand.