I am depressed & disappointed.

I know today would pass. I know that this week would pass. I know that this month would pass. But somehow sitting here feeling that I have been pummeled by hundreds of bricks made times seem to stop and the light at the end of the tunnel just happen to be somebody's flashlight that runs out of battery. And my path again succumbed in total darkness.

And I sit here for a while, wallowing, refusing to pick up calls & refusing to make calls. A little sad, a little depressed. Okay, maybe not so little.

I've made some promises to people that I'm pretty sure that I could keep. But ended unable to fulfill those promises. And that sucks, man. Really sucks. Especially when those people happen to be my trusted friends & people who gave me some breaks when I needed them.

And what really sucks is that I couldn't pick up the phone and call them I needed more time coz things didn't worked out. But how long am I going to supply people with those bloody excuses.

I hate it. I hate it.

If I didn't have all these promises that I have to fulfill I'll probably pack my bags & disappear.

Then what? Live my life as a coward or worst, die as a coward.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking. How am I going to get out from this mess?

Anwar Ibrahim; history repeated.

Just when the Malaysian public are being fired up about rising oil prices, Datin Rosmah allegedly involvement in Altantuya murder and somewhere in the world a car was designed to run on water....a young handsome man by the name of Saiful Bahari made a police report that he was sodomized by the former Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia, Anwar Ibrahim.

When this scandal of all scandal came up, I wanted to put my two cents on it based on what I know of what had happened in 1997. But I paused my fingers on the keyboard as I reflect deeper into my thoughts.

During those time internet was not as handy as it is now. My info back then were based on the mainstream media, contradictory discussion from those who are into politics & the West Malaysian MARA students who were big supporters of Anwar.

So I thought I should go back in time to look into the trial. Found this set of video by Foreign Correspondent that shed a different light into the matter.



I don't like Anwar. I still don't. As far as the stories of his bisexuality goes it had been circulating years before 1997. Whereby it was known that the Tan Sri always request a special service after having his hair cut done.

Then again it was still unproven khabar khabar angin (words in the wind?)

Then again a person private life shouldn't be the thing to judge a leader of a country. Shouldn't it?

Churchill was known to be a crook and Hitler was known to be a clean cut man.

Still I do think, unless somebody can convince me otherwise, that Anwar is a strategist, an opportunist and a selfish politician.

Kinda remind me of an old guy who approved the Petronas Twin Tower.

**************************************

And somewhere in the world a Japanese guy in dark clean suit, sitting on a rather sturdy white wooden chair, waiting patiently for approval on a patent of his car engine that runs on water.

I walk

I walk, I dance,
Help me, lend me a hand.

Hand. Hands.
Surrounding me, Supporting me,
Caressing.Suffocating.Killing.Pushing & Pulling.

Pulling. Pulling me from the depth of darkness.
Emerging from the Mothers womb.
Into the glaring bright lights.

Lights. Unfamiliar.
I closed my eyes & hide my shame.
As ecstasy plough my very being.
I dare not to smile.

Smile. I would have.
If the sun had shine brighter & the moon less melancholy.
And if there are love.

Love. Yes, I'm crazy in love with you.
Don't blame me for my heart condition.
Don't hate me for my mind condition.

Condition. Conditions.
Terms of Conditions.
I hate it.
When life is about the terms we have and conditions are just stupid excuses.

Excuses. I don't need it.
Get off my floor.
Create your own & walk.

Walk. I walk.

I walk, I dance.
Help me, lend me a hand.

Why women lie?

Something someone put up in a forum...

One day, as a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for the two of them.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with a bone thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep and the seamstress went home happy. Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh, Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and it's always for the benefit of others..........That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Best advice I heard in years.

This is one of best advice I heard in years done by one of the coolest motivator in Youtube. Momo from the Momozone. Check out his Youtube page & if you are a fellow Youtuber do subscribe to him bcos he is just simply awesome!

The Secret Of The Happy Pill.