Leave it for tomorrow.

This had been one lazy weekends. With me wanting to do a few things but didn't do most of it. One thing for sure, I spent most of my time on the net, on the bed & on Farmville. Now at 1 am I'm still not asleep. So I drink hot chocolate coz it helps me to sleep & I read, its good to write before sleeping too.

Nothing to write.

I don't know what to write right now. I seriously don't. But I believe that to move on or push myself to do something different & out of my current path is to write about it. You know, kinda like expressing myself to the world. Not sure who will be reading this. But it's nice to know if God does.

I was standing

I was standing,
Just standing,
Standing at the balcony,
Thinking,
About jumping.

But it wouldn’t be a good affair,
Coz down is a long way,

What crosses my mind.

Apa yang terlintas di fikiran // What crosses my mind
Apabila kau disisi // When you’re by my side
Sentuhan lembut // Your soft touch
Yang terlarang // Forbidden.

Why I'm unmarried.

Some friends asked me when I’m getting married & ending my single life. My answers would varied because I’m not that really sure of the reason(s) itself.

But lately I’m beginning to face my own fears, my own questionable beliefs and my own insecurities. And I found out that the answer to that was something quite simple.

I just couldn’t find somebody I actually need or may I say, somebody who have a matching needs. Somebody who could fulfill my needs as I could in turn fulfill his…or hers.

Argh…Too much of Ellen/Portia and Lindsay/Samantha filling up my head, not forgetting the catchy Katy Perry song ‘I kissed a girl’. I’m not hiding in any closet but I think I still liked men better…or not…Geh!

Okay, back to the original topic.

Somebody I need. Somebody I could see myself sitting around with at the age of eighty. Me, wrinkly and maybe lost a few tooth. Walked a little slower. Smiled a bit wider. Lost my memory a bit faster. And that somebody who accepted old age with grace together.

Wishful thinking, maybe.

But I believe if you can’t see yourself growing old with somebody then you’re probably should not take the plunge with that person. You might end up in a pit alone by yourself.

Yeah, some may say that you can easily climbed out and give it another shot. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Then again, if you just don’t learn, you might end up being the next Elisabeth Taylor with a divorced husband number eight.

And since when this article talked about ‘You’. All I want to talk about is ‘Me’. Yep, selfish me.

The only person I ever thought of growing old with is my own best friend. And no, it’s not the “I kissed a girl” syndrome. It’s more like the ‘Wassup’ beer ads.

That’s my idea of growing old gracefully.

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