Nothing to write.

I don't know what to write right now. I seriously don't. But I believe that to move on or push myself to do something different & out of my current path is to write about it. You know, kinda like expressing myself to the world. Not sure who will be reading this. But it's nice to know if God does.

I was standing

I was standing,
Just standing,
Standing at the balcony,
Thinking,
About jumping.

But it wouldn’t be a good affair,
Coz down is a long way,

What crosses my mind.

Apa yang terlintas di fikiran // What crosses my mind
Apabila kau disisi // When you’re by my side
Sentuhan lembut // Your soft touch
Yang terlarang // Forbidden.

Why I'm unmarried.

Some friends asked me when I’m getting married & ending my single life. My answers would varied because I’m not that really sure of the reason(s) itself.

But lately I’m beginning to face my own fears, my own questionable beliefs and my own insecurities. And I found out that the answer to that was something quite simple.

I just couldn’t find somebody I actually need or may I say, somebody who have a matching needs. Somebody who could fulfill my needs as I could in turn fulfill his…or hers.

Argh…Too much of Ellen/Portia and Lindsay/Samantha filling up my head, not forgetting the catchy Katy Perry song ‘I kissed a girl’. I’m not hiding in any closet but I think I still liked men better…or not…Geh!

Okay, back to the original topic.

Somebody I need. Somebody I could see myself sitting around with at the age of eighty. Me, wrinkly and maybe lost a few tooth. Walked a little slower. Smiled a bit wider. Lost my memory a bit faster. And that somebody who accepted old age with grace together.

Wishful thinking, maybe.

But I believe if you can’t see yourself growing old with somebody then you’re probably should not take the plunge with that person. You might end up in a pit alone by yourself.

Yeah, some may say that you can easily climbed out and give it another shot. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. Then again, if you just don’t learn, you might end up being the next Elisabeth Taylor with a divorced husband number eight.

And since when this article talked about ‘You’. All I want to talk about is ‘Me’. Yep, selfish me.

The only person I ever thought of growing old with is my own best friend. And no, it’s not the “I kissed a girl” syndrome. It’s more like the ‘Wassup’ beer ads.

That’s my idea of growing old gracefully.

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Common sleeping disorders

I can’t sleep. At 5 a.m I’m at my computer and writing this blog to be publish tomorrow…which happen to be today.

I finished some of my other article about 2 a.m and pushed myself to sleep. Yet at 3, I was still wide awake. I took my mobile and played a game for 1 hour. At 4 a.m I’m still wide awake. Reading somewhere that when you can’t sleep, just get up & do something until you feel sleepy, I got up & turn on my computer.

I ended watching a short video, read a couple of e-book and finally decided to write about sleeping disorders based on of the e-book I’ve read.

Written by the U.S National Institute of Health titled ‘Your Guide to Healthy Sleep’; it’s a compact simple book with comprehensive detail about sleeping.

What I‘m going to mention here are five common sleeping disorder, which I will simplify.

1.Insomnia : Defined as having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or as having un refreshing sleep despite having ample opportunity to sleep. People with insomnia will find themselves having such problems as daytime fatigue, mood swings, irritation and unable to focus.

2.Sleep Apnea : Also known as breathing problem during sleep time. People who have sleep apnea will experience their breathing stopped or becomes shallow due to intermittent blocking of the upper airway. It can last around 10 to 20 seconds and the body will awaken itself with snorts or a choking sounds. The breathing will continue as usual. Those who suffer from sleep apnea may snore loudly and frequently. Though not all people who snores have sleep apnea.

3.RLS (Restless Legs Syndrome) : Defined as unpleasantness and sometime painful prickling sensations in the legs that causes a person inability to fall asleep. This discomfort can be subsided by massaging but it might not work on everybody. Sometime this sensation can also be felt in the arms.

4.Narcolepsy : This is one disorder that I have without even knowing that I had it. Luckily it wasn’t chronic. But finally I got something to explain my ‘weird’ sleep pattern. Main symptom is excessive and overwhelming daytime sleepiness, even after adequate night time sleep. Though the sleeps may be fragmented with frequent awakening. Those with narcolepsy often fall asleep at inappropriate times & places. Like in the middle of a class or church sermons. Aha ha… It can lasts in seconds to half an hour.

Other symptoms, though not all who have narcolepsy have these symptoms, are cataplexy or sudden muscle weakness, sleep paralysis which feels like being glued to the bed and vivid or hypnogogic dreams whereby the reams felt real and sometime are confused with reality. I never experience cataplexy but I had several time feeling paralysis and vivid dreams which amused, annoyed or even scares me sometime.

5.Paramsonia or Abnormal Arousals : This is people walks, talks and do other bodily functions which are usually suppressed during sleeps. Alternatively, the paralysis or vivid images experienced during dreaming will persist after the woke up. Confusional arousals, sleep talking, sleep walking, night terrors, sleep paralysis or acting out dreams happen with people with paramsonia. Children who have paramsonia will usually outgrow them. But a chronic paramsonia can be dangerous and specialist help are needed.

Well, that’s the five disorders and I was already sleepy at number three. But I needed to finish what I’ve written, so here I am an hour later.

I’ll post another article on tips on getting a good night sleep. But that’s another time and right now, I need to sleep.

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• Strange dream again-Living with E.T
• Down but upbeat.
• Best advice I heard in years.
• Ten Emotions of Power-Part One
• Empty Minds