I was standing

I was standing,
Just standing,
Standing at the balcony,
Thinking,
About jumping.

But it wouldn’t be a good affair,
Coz down is a long way,


And in the seconds when I reached the seventh floor,
And in the seconds when I realised seven more,

I would probably wonder,
If being dead is the right answer.

Then I would suddenly regret,
But it would be too late.

And in the morning when my body were found,
My blood soaking the ground.

The empty shell that housed a soul,
Lying lifeless, rigid and cold.

And somebody would ponder,
What could have pushed me over,
Was it because of a lover?
Or wasn’t I loved by my mother?
Beaten up before by my father?
How about my brothers and sister?

Yet none above are true,
I just couldn’t find a reason to continue.

How long had this been?
Feeling of helplessness of livin,
The need to end all,
With one little fall.

Yet, will everything actually ends?
How am I supposed to know without a working brain?

Will I feel at peace with everything?
When I don’t have a heart to feel anything?
Will I still retain my conciousness?
Yet wasn’t my goal complete nothingness?

And worst still,
If I still can feel.

Will I be burnt eternally in hell?
Heck, that doesn’t sound quite well.

I was standing,
Just standing,
Standing at the balcony,
Thinking,
About jumping.

But it wouldn’t be a good affair,
Coz down is a long way.

So I decided to live another day.

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