I wanna be like Jung Da Yeon when I'm 40+

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Proud of myself today.

Guess I'm proud of myself today. I managed to finish something that I've put off for months...months now. maybe its a small feat but its one good healthy dose for me as procrastination is one of my lil annoyance of myself.

Leave it for tomorrow.

This had been one lazy weekends. With me wanting to do a few things but didn't do most of it. One thing for sure, I spent most of my time on the net, on the bed & on Farmville. Now at 1 am I'm still not asleep. So I drink hot chocolate coz it helps me to sleep & I read, its good to write before sleeping too.

Nothing to write.

I don't know what to write right now. I seriously don't. But I believe that to move on or push myself to do something different & out of my current path is to write about it. You know, kinda like expressing myself to the world. Not sure who will be reading this. But it's nice to know if God does.

Common sleeping disorders

I can’t sleep. At 5 a.m I’m at my computer and writing this blog to be publish tomorrow…which happen to be today.

I finished some of my other article about 2 a.m and pushed myself to sleep. Yet at 3, I was still wide awake. I took my mobile and played a game for 1 hour. At 4 a.m I’m still wide awake. Reading somewhere that when you can’t sleep, just get up & do something until you feel sleepy, I got up & turn on my computer.

I ended watching a short video, read a couple of e-book and finally decided to write about sleeping disorders based on of the e-book I’ve read.

Written by the U.S National Institute of Health titled ‘Your Guide to Healthy Sleep’; it’s a compact simple book with comprehensive detail about sleeping.

What I‘m going to mention here are five common sleeping disorder, which I will simplify.

1.Insomnia : Defined as having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or as having un refreshing sleep despite having ample opportunity to sleep. People with insomnia will find themselves having such problems as daytime fatigue, mood swings, irritation and unable to focus.

2.Sleep Apnea : Also known as breathing problem during sleep time. People who have sleep apnea will experience their breathing stopped or becomes shallow due to intermittent blocking of the upper airway. It can last around 10 to 20 seconds and the body will awaken itself with snorts or a choking sounds. The breathing will continue as usual. Those who suffer from sleep apnea may snore loudly and frequently. Though not all people who snores have sleep apnea.

3.RLS (Restless Legs Syndrome) : Defined as unpleasantness and sometime painful prickling sensations in the legs that causes a person inability to fall asleep. This discomfort can be subsided by massaging but it might not work on everybody. Sometime this sensation can also be felt in the arms.

4.Narcolepsy : This is one disorder that I have without even knowing that I had it. Luckily it wasn’t chronic. But finally I got something to explain my ‘weird’ sleep pattern. Main symptom is excessive and overwhelming daytime sleepiness, even after adequate night time sleep. Though the sleeps may be fragmented with frequent awakening. Those with narcolepsy often fall asleep at inappropriate times & places. Like in the middle of a class or church sermons. Aha ha… It can lasts in seconds to half an hour.

Other symptoms, though not all who have narcolepsy have these symptoms, are cataplexy or sudden muscle weakness, sleep paralysis which feels like being glued to the bed and vivid or hypnogogic dreams whereby the reams felt real and sometime are confused with reality. I never experience cataplexy but I had several time feeling paralysis and vivid dreams which amused, annoyed or even scares me sometime.

5.Paramsonia or Abnormal Arousals : This is people walks, talks and do other bodily functions which are usually suppressed during sleeps. Alternatively, the paralysis or vivid images experienced during dreaming will persist after the woke up. Confusional arousals, sleep talking, sleep walking, night terrors, sleep paralysis or acting out dreams happen with people with paramsonia. Children who have paramsonia will usually outgrow them. But a chronic paramsonia can be dangerous and specialist help are needed.

Well, that’s the five disorders and I was already sleepy at number three. But I needed to finish what I’ve written, so here I am an hour later.

I’ll post another article on tips on getting a good night sleep. But that’s another time and right now, I need to sleep.

Other Articles

• Strange dream again-Living with E.T
• Down but upbeat.
• Best advice I heard in years.
• Ten Emotions of Power-Part One
• Empty Minds

Down but upbeat.

The days of my depressing blog below had passed. I'm grateful for many reason. I'm not out of the rut or the rat race yet but I'm moving on. So any changes made me pretty upbeat.

My blog was corrupted a few days ago and just manage to find the solution today. I'm down with a flu & feeling rather sleepy right now. But something I've been working on has hit the road & moving. So I'm excited of what's coming. There's a few things that comes to me together with the sense of clarifications.

The roads seem less winding now.

I've updated this blog after my HTML was corrupted. So check out some new things on the right. I put up a playlist playing some of my personal acoustic taste. And I found that this blog is better viewed using Firefox.

And I'm feeling a little bit artsy so thus the changes to my blogs. Header pics by Eri Komura. I intend to change the art & outlook of this blog every month, so get ready of constant play of colours.

Thanks to all who somehow manage to find this blog. I'll be updating more & try to make the content more useful yet still personal.

Still me with lotsa love,
Jacque

I am depressed & disappointed.

I know today would pass. I know that this week would pass. I know that this month would pass. But somehow sitting here feeling that I have been pummeled by hundreds of bricks made times seem to stop and the light at the end of the tunnel just happen to be somebody's flashlight that runs out of battery. And my path again succumbed in total darkness.

And I sit here for a while, wallowing, refusing to pick up calls & refusing to make calls. A little sad, a little depressed. Okay, maybe not so little.

I've made some promises to people that I'm pretty sure that I could keep. But ended unable to fulfill those promises. And that sucks, man. Really sucks. Especially when those people happen to be my trusted friends & people who gave me some breaks when I needed them.

And what really sucks is that I couldn't pick up the phone and call them I needed more time coz things didn't worked out. But how long am I going to supply people with those bloody excuses.

I hate it. I hate it.

If I didn't have all these promises that I have to fulfill I'll probably pack my bags & disappear.

Then what? Live my life as a coward or worst, die as a coward.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking. How am I going to get out from this mess?

Just want to know he's alive.

I knew somebody; a guy. & he became something in my life. I can't say I loved him because I didn't think I did. Can't say he's my friend either because we never actually were friends.

Yes, we enjoyed some moments together. Those moments like blurred movie in my head. Old photos stored somewhere in the hidden recesses of my memory. Somebody not really significant. Yet somebody or something that is like a piece of small thorn inside your flesh that gives that dull sense of pain once in a while.

There are times when I thought why I could not get rid of him from my head. I got rid of him physically by way of cutting off all communication but still linger that wondering whether he is still alive. Because the last time we met it was raining cats & dogs & I had the slightest thought that he might have hurt himself or died. Not that it would bother me if he did but that thought itself, that single piece of unanswered questions; wandered in my flesh like that piece of annoying thorn.

And maybe there was something deeper that I just refused to looked into. Like forgiving myself for hurting him. Like forgiving him for hurting me. And like forgiving myself for letting him get under my skin & making me cry during those little storms that we had.

You know, I saw him yesterday. At first, I couldn't be sure it was him. He was fatter & somewhat uglier. I'm not being sarcastic here but hey...seriously. I pretended not to see him & he pretended not to see me.

And finally found out he's actually still alive.

How do I feel now?

Like that piece of thorn had been taken out. I barely able to recall how he looked like.

A little crush

The first time I saw him, I thought that he was kinda sweet and the gears in my heart starts to click. Click, click, clock, rrrrr....

The attraction is there but yet....

Then I met him again a few times, and as usual I'll unconsciously / consciously try to find or pinpoint bad things about him. Yes, I found a few traits about him that that I didn't like . But I still thinks he's sweet. I don't know why when he' not sweet at all.

Is my heart too empty that it needs to be filled by just anybody? Or just a simple attraction? Could be just anybody or is it just him?

Love is a far far word in a far far world. Having a little crush is just too damn...normal?

My heart that goes dub dub dub for a while, will slowly dub dub to its original positions.

Ah...romance...romance...

Fighting flu

I am so not well.

First I had stomach pains due to bad handling of one kitty by the name of Kin Kin.

Then I got sore throats.

Now I got a full fledge flu.

And I don't take medicines. I just super hate medicines or legal drugs; like Tom Cruise aptly described them. But I have to get some cough syrups, pain killers, vitamins & a bottle of plain water.

When I cough I feel I could blew up a mountain. And my sneezing would bulldoze one.

I wonder if Anthony Robbins or any coach out there who can make the flu goes away. Can we tell virus to simply shut up & die?

Flu virus! I now condemn you to death for interfering with my healthy systems. Your interference had caused great distress to my white blood cells that they have to be taken out completely. Causing much grieve to their immediate family. As this crime is of the first degree I now sentence you to death by stronger natural immune system. No plea will be entertained.

Zzzzt! Zzzzt! Zzzzzt!

Uha!